Valentine’s Day is approaching, the city is filled with red hearts and sweet decorations. If you haven’t a date yet, you could be feeling the pressure of finding someone.
If you find dating a struggle this post might just be for you: I’ll tell you the secret on how to keep a guy!
You might be thinking, why would you listen to me or make me entitled in giving such advice? Well, in my job I see a lot of women, I see a lot of men. I hear about the struggles with relationships on both spectrums –men and women. Our treatment rooms are safe, private and confidential. They are a perfect haven where people open themselves up and let their emotions run freely. Relationships are difficult, they have their ups and down, but they should flow. This is my take on getting it right!
Read till the end, you’ll find pro beauty tips for your Valentine’s Day look…
DO’S to make him FALL for you
The golden rule to make him fall for you is to be confident and be the best version of yourself. Men love women with a strong personality, that fight for what matters to them and are happy with who they are. So, first of all get to know and love yourself. Remember that the love you receive from others is a reflection of the love you give to yourself!
There’s nothing more attractive than your real, genuine and feminine self. This is what makes a guy connect with you on a deeper level and it’s also the best way for him to get to know you. Think about it, did you ever try to impress a man by saying or doing something you thought would be cool and that would impress him, only to find he reacted in a cold way? It most probably happened because you were trying to be someone else, getting him to approve of you and he felt this lack of authenticity.
You also want him to like you for who you really are, so, dress the way you like, do what makes you happy, be honest with your interests. It will only be a matter of time before he “gets to know” the real you! On the other hand, if he’s trying to change you, asking you to stop seeing your friends, quit your job, change your hairstyle etc., he’s obviously not the one for you! So, move on and find another one.
You have your own hobbies, interests and friends and he has his. Keep them – your relationship is not your entire life, even if it is an important part of it. A man will respect you more if you keep doing what makes you happy. If he cancelled a long-planned trip with his friends to be with you, how would you feel? Would you like to take this responsibility? Would you think he’s weak and clingy? He would probably feel the same. A balanced relationship allows people to have their own space. You have your life, he has his and then you have one together! It also gives you something to talk about when you do meet or are together.
Boost his ego
The better you make him feel, the more he will like you. Poet Maya Angelou once said: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” This applies also to how you make him feel when he’s with you. Compliment him, express your gratitude or appreciation for the good things he does and allow him to do those little chivalry gestures that make him feel like a man. They’re not a sign of your submission, but they show that you respect him and you allowing him be who he is.
Match his commitment level
You might want a relationship very badly and you might want to get serious right away. He might run at a different pace, especially when you just started seeing each other. So, it’s very important to be patient and give him time as rushing things too much might be counterproductive and make him feel totally overwhelmed.
In other words: asking to move in together after a week or asking if he would want to get married or have kids within the first 2 weeks, are total no-no! I feel that some commitment levels are age appropriate – when you’re in your 30’s questions like marriage, kids, commitment etc. are relevant and should be spoken but only about within a month or two of seeing each other.
If you see he’s sending confusing signals, it’s always best to lay back and wait for him to do the move. Which also brings us to the mistakes to avoid when you want to keep a guy.
DON’Ts to keep a guy
Remember that you are a CONFIDENT WOMAN and you don’t need him to be happy. His presence and relationship makes your amazing life even better, but you can perfectly make it without him; you have actually lived your entire life without him before you met or started seeing each other. Keeping this in mind will help you avoiding those common pitfalls:
Seem desperate and clingy
There’s nothing worse than seeming needy and desperate to get his attention. It will make him pull away in a very short time. If he didn’t answer your text within an hour – chill, don’t call nor text him. He’s very likely to be busy and he will get back to you when he can. If after an important meeting, he finds 20 missed call from you, he’ll probably think you’re on the cusp of being a “psycho” and won’t probably call you back! Think at how you would feel if it was opposite, if he left you many missed calls and messages while you were doing something.
Sometimes the fact that it takes him longer to reply is a good sign: he wants to be in the best mood and able to give his entire attention to you. Often, I’ve found men go into their “man cave” – they process issues very differently to women. Women talk to women, men don’t usually talk to men that much.
Also, don’t show too much affection in public if it makes him uncomfortable. You want him to feel good with you, remember?
Act like a friend
You want a relationship, right? So why are you trying to be his friend? This is a common mistake we all make, we think it will make us seem more chilled and easy going. The problem is that if we are too friendly, a friendship is what we get! – avoid “friend zoning” him.
If you keep showing your masculine side, that you can have sex like a man (without affection), or that you are powerful by turning down all his attempts to do something for you or keep giving subtle advice, he’ll see you as a buddy. He might respect you, but he won’t consider you a possible partner for a romantic relationship. Don’t ask him out in a friendly way, sometimes it’s really better to wait for him to ask you out, which also leads us to the next point.
Try too hard
Sometimes we think we need to be super sexy, dressed up, super smart, super interesting and super cool, to get his attention. A man will notice when you’re trying too hard and he won’t usually like it. He would actually think you’re desperate and see your lack of confidence in a negative way. Chill out and let the real you shine! If there is going to be a ”spark” it’s going to be and no-one can explain that…
If last time you went out and it was you organizing it, wait for him to ask you next time. Even if you would like to see him every day, you need to make him want to see you and besides he might be busy and want to take things slower. Our modern society accepts that women make the first move, but ultimately guys like to feel they are in charge. I will never forget something my granny said to me: “A man must always love you more than you love him” –they are the hunters, we are the prey.
Hide your feelings
We forget the basics on how to connect with a man: show him our highest and truest self. Don’t play too many games with men, you will end up turning him off …
It happens when we decline something we would actually like to do and make up some previous commitments to show we have a busy life without him. It’s okay to appear not “too available”, but honestly don’t take it to the next level.
Sometimes we don’t express how we actually feel with a guy, we’re afraid it’s too early to tell him how we feel, even though he has expressed his feeling towards you. This could back-fire and we could come across cold, aloof and not interested. Communication is vital in a relationship, if he’s scared of commitment, it’s his problem, but we have to say what we really want. I’ve heard stories of women being too scared to express their feelings and their desire of an exclusive relationship, but pretending to accept something more “chilled”. In reality, the guy wanted more of a “commitment” but thought she didn’t want one and pulled away. Unfortunately, it was too late when they had this talk, as they had both moved on. In my view, men can be thought as “players” until they find the right women. This is when their world turns inside out and they don’t know what’s hit them!
So in my books: be honest, be yourself. After the pretence (which is usually the 3 months honeymoon period), everyone will eventually find out about what makes each other tick
Valentine’s Day look
After we focused on how to keep a guy, it’s time to think of your Valentine’s Day!
Of course, be yourself and choose something that reflects your personality. Something that makes you feel good in your own skin.
When interviewing men on ageing, we found out that in general, they love the natural look –
a glowing, hydrated skin, with natural make up.
If you feel like treating yourself, book a facial the week before Valentine’s, a tanning session and makeup for that night. We have planned some specials for the 8 days prior, check our website and follow us on Facebook or Instagram to find out more.
If you’re more a “do-it-yourself type” but still want some advice, stop by one of our salons. We will be happy to give you the best tips for the look you trying to create!
- Pharmaceutical Grade Mineral
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Remember, be the best version of yourself.
There is only one of you, making us all unique in our own skin xxx